whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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