You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
