You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
