Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize