I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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