so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
