nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
