I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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