Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
