i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
