My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
