I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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