I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
