I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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