You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
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