are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize