what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
