i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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