remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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