I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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