What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
