I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
why is half of my head shaved?
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