thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize