We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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