I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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