I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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