So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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