I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
