so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
