Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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