I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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