New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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