You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip