Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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