went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Terrible idea I love it
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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