I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
