We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
