What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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