I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
