they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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