Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
