took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
