TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
