Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
