My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
