I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
