Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
