I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
