well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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