Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
