I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Can i not drive my cunt home
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
