That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
