We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
