I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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