found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
