I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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