Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
