Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
