Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
