At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
