Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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