How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My balls are so social today.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
