My room smells like vodka and shame
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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